Infertility is...

This is something that I found and thought it fit. I don't know who wrote it but can definitely relate to a lot of the things she wrote!
Infertility is...

• Buying and reading books on baby care, and hiding them when company comes.
• Wanting like crazy to "just look" in the baby section of the department store, but feeling so out of place.
• Snapping at friends who ask innocent questions and not meaning to. I wish I could explain but...
• Making love and suddenly realizing that the two of you will never make a baby this way and crying.
• Seeing the cutest maternity top in the store window, but having no reason to buy it.
• Trying to rejoice with your friends on her first (or third) pregnancy.
• Being enemies with your own body.
• Doctors-hating them, worshiping them.
• Wondering if you will ever receive a Mother's Day card.
• Picking a name for your baby, only to grow tired of it.
• Always going to other people's houses for dinner because they would have to get a babysitter otherwise and it is so much convenient this way.
• Falling apart. Getting hysterical. Am I losing my insanity?
• Knowing (better than most) how conception happens, yet having to put up with stupid advice and crude jokes.
• Redefining 'woman'-(yes, I am still one)!
• Feeling empty and sad most of the time.
• Sharing experiences with other infertile couples and finding comfort in that.
  
• Wondering where God is.
• Having an extra bedroom for guests and wishing it was a nursery.
• Being afraid to take aspirin or do sit-ups.
• Needing to grieve, but not really knowing how.
• And then finally...
• Coming to terms with your own infertility. Acceptance. Peace.
• Feeling like a whole person again.
• Not thinking about your infertility first thing in the morning.
• Actually finding joy mixed in with the pain of Christmas-What a miracle.
• Discovering life can be happy and satisfying without children or discovering that adoption is a positive way of enlarging your family.

I find that I am actually thankful for my own infertility. It has been a hard experience, but as I have struggled, I have grown. I have learned more about my Heavenly Father, and about being His child than I could have otherwise.
Like I said, I'm not sure who wrote this, but I can relate in so many ways. And I hope I'm on the way to coming to terms with infertility. And finding peace. Though, I have to admit, I'm not there yet!