Faith in the Storm

Good thing for church. To be honest, I wasn't really feeling like going to church today. I've come to the realization that I am the only one in the age group from 18 to 100 who doesn't have any children at my church, and I wasn't feeling up to facing all of those beautiful mothers. Granted, everyone is super nice. It's just hard sometimes feeling like an outsider and not really having anything you can do about it. Anyway, I finally convinced myself to get over myself and go to church, and I'm glad that I did. This one guy talked a little bit about faith and he gave the example of when Jesus and his disciples were on a ship and there was this big storm. And during this huge storm Jesus slept and the worse the storm became and the more Jesus slept, the more worried and fearful his disciples became. Finally, as the ship was covered with the waves and the disciples thought for sure the ship was going to sink, they woke up Jesus. Then Jesus stood up and calmed the sea and the winds. And he said to his disciples, "Why are ye fearful? O ye of little faith?" (Matthew 8: 26). This hit home for me, and then to make sure I got it (God knows that I'm a slow learner) we talked about faith in Sunday School too. The teacher was talking about how faith isn't blind, and I got to thinking about how faith is seeing things with our hearts and spirits and that having faith in God doesn't mean that we'll never fall, it just means that God will always be there to give us the strength to get back up again. And I got to thinking how faith really is a good cure for the infertility blues. I was starting to panic and let those fears of never having a family and fears that everything I've been doing is for nothing and fears that God had maybe forgotten me...all those fears that creep into my heart sometimes. So today I said to myself, "Why are ye fearful? O ye of little faith!" Just because I'm in a stormy part of my life, doesn't mean that Jesus Christ isn't aware of me and the He can't help me. He won't let me sink! And I know that I've got to have strong faith because that is the only thing that conquers fear. I have faith that God loves me and hasn't forgotten me and that one day some how I will have a baby. It's like a garden, I can sit back and let the weeds of fear and despair grow or I can work to plant my faith and watch it blossom over time. But it definitely takes a lot of work!