Bad News! =(

Well, I did a pregnancy test today and it came out negative. I'll do the blood work on Saturday but, I'm pretty sure it didn't take. I've been getting cramps all week and have just felt like it didn't work. It's just not my time yet. Though I wonder when it will be my time? I'm not giving up or anything, it's just really hard initially when you get the bad news. The idea of facing another round of IVF is hard, but I'll do it. I'll probably do the other round in October, give my body and heart a chance to recuperate. I was talking to my husband about this yesterday, that I didn't think I was pregnant and about my fears that this might all be a dead end. What if I don't get pregnant after four rounds of IVF? He said that we've been following our hearts on what we should do and that he would rather follow his heart and do what he believes to be right and reach a dead end than to take the other road and always wonder. I totally agree with him (but that doesn't make the road any easier)! What can I do but keep trying though? What is that saying-the best things in life don't come easy...hopefully there's some really cool things in store for me in the future!
My cousin and his wife have been trying to have a baby and just announced last night that they're pregnant. You know the mixed emotions--happy for them but frustrated and jealous that it's not you. But like I told my husband, she's not build tough enough for the infertility battle. I'm tough enough. I'm tough enough. I'm tough enough...
Anyway, I think I'll go curl up with my dog now and have a good cry (he's a good cuddler and he licks my tears away =)! Life is hard but it's all worth it in the end. I've got to just keep repeating this stuff to myself!